Category Archives: Friendship

Bingo Night a.k.a. La Loteria

Got a chance to play a bingo-like Spanish Lottery game tonight with some friends. Since I know only 2 words in Spanish it was tough, but I survived and only messed up once by prematurely yelling “Bingo” for 4 in a row, when the actual game is won with a full board. Either way, it was good for a few laughs!!

Lupus Alliance of America

We interrupt the “irrelevant” posts for a very relevant post… last year I announced my participation in one of the Michigan Lupus walks in support of my best friend, Sharon, who has been fighting winning her battle with lupus since 2001. Well, that time is here again and Team Cakesy needs your support! Below is her email.

Hey there,

First, I want to thank you for your love and support especially during the last year. My 2008 and 2009 was pure health hell but because of you interceding for me, lupus has grown and enlightened me is so many ways.

Two of the most wonderful ladies that I know, Cherish and April, have decided to continue on with the Lupus Walk this year on TEAM Cakesy’s behalf and we are asking for your donation in whatever amount. No one has to tell me how tight times are and if all you are able to spare is $5, please give that $5 like it’s a million. Last year, our fundraising goal was $3,000. We wound up raising more than $4,500.

All funds raised go to benefit the Lupus Alliance of America Michigan Indiana Affiliate. It is the only lupus organization in Michigan that helps folks like me. Last year, due to the fact that I didn’t have any insurance that covered my medication, this organization provided what I needed to keep me alive. At this point, I am unsure of who knows what about my ordeal but I needed chemotherapy to help Sharon get back to being Sharon. The Alliance stepped in and gave me what I needed and then a couple of months later, a job. I am currently the Media Director for the organization. Haha! Isn’t it funny how things work out?!?

Just within the last couple of months alone, I have written and had 2 newspaper articles published. I have been in a Lupus Alliance commercial that was shown throughout Michigan and Indiana and I was also featured on PBS ‘A Wider World’ news show about my battle with lupus. I was also a guest on the CW50 television show ‘Street Beat’. I have been to Washington, DC twice to lobby Congress on behalf of the Alliance. As a result of our hard work, we currently have two Appropriation’s Requests both worth $650,000 each in the offices of the Congresswoman Carolyn Cheeks-Kilpatrick and Congressman John Conyers. We should find out soon whether or not the requests were approved. If they are, the appropriations will change the dynamic of the Alliance drastically which is a good thing. We can help more folks and keep more daughters, mothers, sisters, grandmothers, cousins, brothers, fathers, everyone’s loved ones alive.

I didn’t mention my awareness successes in an effort to pat myself on the back. I mentioned them to remind you to never tell God how big the storm is but always tell the storm how big your God is. Things have a supernatural way of working out in your favor ;).

The fundraising page is here. If you have any questions, contact me. Please forward this at your discretion. Thanks for all that you have done and will do.

Be Encouraged and Be Blessed,

Sharon (‘Cakesy’)

Please support us in anyway you can, even if its simply passing the word along! I posted a donation badge to the right of my page. If you are in the Detroit-area and would like to walk with us on September 25, or even start your own team for the walk, please do not hesitate to sign up HERE –>

Peace and love, Cherish (and Sharon and April)

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The proper way to make amends

Today had a conversation with a friend (we’ll call this person Boston), with whom my relationship is a little strained due my “lack of personal interest” (in an effort to be politically correct) in another person (Jersey) with whom Boston is related to and they are an extremely important part of Boston’s life. The conversation was apparently one that needed to happen, as a number of things have occurred, both in and out of Boston’s presence, that have let to this current state between the other parties. Boston’s wish is that we could all be good friends, both together and as individual pairs. While I (I’ll refer to myself as Chicago) don’t think that’s impossible, I think its hard to move on without addresses fundamental issues that have led to the present time, and are likely to reoccur, as the issues seem more personality driven, than situational.

SO… in mathematical terms:

Chicago + Boston= GOOD
Boston + Jersey = GOOD
Chicago + Jersey = NOT GOOD

That being said, there was a recent “attempt”, on Jersey’s behalf, to “squash” the past and move forward with Chicago (me). The comment was made in 2 parts: Part 1 – address the emotions that resulted from the most recent incident, and Part 2 – express a desire to attempt to be more friendly. Sounds great, right? I mean how can you not appreciate someone who steps up to the plate… right?

WRONG. And I’ll tell you how.

The message, so nice in its intent, was actually read over the phone by Boston who claimed to be simply relaying the message from Jersey, because Jersey felt that Chicago would not want to hear from them. So instead of trying to call Chicago, or (e)mailing the note, or even a “can you call me text”, Jersey took the childish way out by saying “I’ll have my assistant do it for me”. And the acting personal assistant, Boston, did it, all the while defending the fact that Jersey had attempted to reconcile and yet Chicago is not cooperating… confused yet?

Either way, I thought long and hard about the situation and still stand by my belief. An apology, reconciliation, discussion to get past an issues, etc should ALWAYS be done by direct contact. To make matter worse, Jersey has a bad habit of contacting Chicago regarding issues that Jersey is not even involved in, often times giving unwanted opinions and voicing unrequested comments… but the one time that there was something worth saying, instead of going straight to the person, they went through a liaison, using the excuse that they didn’t know if their attempt would be welcomed.

This leads me to today’s lesson… while Jersey was not necessarily attempting to apologize, you could look at the rules of communication the same way for a reconciliation.  I found an interesting article called “How to Apologize Like A Man” and took a few pointers to share. I am tempted to print it and mail it to the person, but I think that would be done with the wrong intentions, despite being helpful. This section of the article really caught my attention in terms of Jersey and the past problems we’ve had, along with the way the message was given through a third-party, versus person to person, even if it does mean calling a few times, sending a voicemail or even risking getting hung up on….

Why We Don’t Apologize

Pride. Apologizing can be particularly hard for men because it involves the admittance of fault. It’s hard to say that we messed up. That we were wrong. Our pride gets in the way.
Embarrassment. If we messed up royally, doing something truly boneheaded even though we knew better, it can be difficult to talk about it to the person we hurt or let down. We feel stupid and would rather pretend like it didn’t happen.
Anger. Things that need apologizing for are rarely a one way street (more on this later). We probably did something wrong, but the other person probably did too. And sometimes our anger over how they offended us is so great that we justify what we did and can’t get past it to apologize.
The antidote to all 3 obstacles? Humility. The reason we put up these walls is that we have an overinflated view of our true selves. We’re always right; we always have it together. But it ain’t true. We’re human. We mess up sometimes. You have to accept your imperfection as a part of life. Suppressing it will cut you off from others. Embracing it will allow you to grow as a man.

Pride. Embarrassment. Anger. <- All powerful worlds. For your Item of the Day I give you the message of Humility and some advice… handle your business like an adult. If you can start it, you can finish it, repair it, redirect it, or whatever else needs to be done. Just make sure you handle it. that’s all. Back to your regular schedule programming….

oh, yeah, and ALL COMMENTS/SUGGESTIONS are welcome 🙂

Ready for the Next Phase

As 2009 comes to a close, I am sitting here thinking about all I’ve experienced in the past year… And beyond that the past decade. I am beginning 2010 with a wonderful support system of family and friends, a new job, a new apartment, a stronger love relationship, and a new lease on life! I hesitate to call 2009 a challenge… It was more like a lesson in life and having faith in God.

There have been so many blessings in my life, both expected and unexpected, that have led me to a place I never would have imagined myself being in… A place of peace and purpose. A place of goal setting and achieving. A place of love and appreciation.

I am looking forward to everything that 2010 has to offer me!!!